5 Wackiest Stipulation Matches In Pro Wrestling History
If you thought an "Eye for an Eye" was slightly unrealistic at this Sunday's 'The Horror Show' at WWE Extreme Rules...
Jul 17, 2020
To be a fan of professional wrestling, you're accepting a certain level of wholesale absurdity to start with. It's hard to take wrestling too seriously when you consider the improbabilities inherent to the everyday product (not least of all the mechanics of the time-honoured "Irish whip"). But sometimes, wrestling goes so far outside the realm of plausibility that it leaves us stupefied. Consider the recent promotion of the "Eye for an Eye" match between Rey Mysterio and Seth Rollins.
In a match that would've made more sense as a promotional tie-in with See No Evil, Mysterio and Rollins are both tasked with removing the other's eyeball in order to win. Sounds messy and, uh, slightly unrealistic. But you know, who are we to quibble when we've watched The Undertaker summon lightning?
And besides, pro wrestling has a rich history of gimmick matches that go waaaaay too far. We're not talking simple, believable barbarism like your standard steel cage and weapons-based matches. We're talking contests that rely on death, or at least taking serious liberties with the legal system. These are the more egregious ones.
To be a fan of professional wrestling, you're accepting a certain level of wholesale absurdity to start with. It's hard to take wrestling too seriously when you consider the improbabilities inherent to the everyday product (not least of all the mechanics of the time-honoured "Irish whip"). But sometimes, wrestling goes so far outside the realm of plausibility that it leaves us stupefied. Consider the recent promotion of the "Eye for an Eye" match between Rey Mysterio and Seth Rollins.
In a match that would've made more sense as a promotional tie-in with See No Evil, Mysterio and Rollins are both tasked with removing the other's eyeball in order to win. Sounds messy and, uh, slightly unrealistic. But you know, who are we to quibble when we've watched The Undertaker summon lightning?
And besides, pro wrestling has a rich history of gimmick matches that go waaaaay too far. We're not talking simple, believable barbarism like your standard steel cage and weapons-based matches. We're talking contests that rely on death, or at least taking serious liberties with the legal system. These are the more egregious ones.
Putting anyone except The Undertaker in this match tends to somewhat dilute the unrealistic stipulation since he's an unrealistic character. But really, what state athletic commission is sanctioning a match where to win, you have to literally bury your opponent alive?
Nothing is ever said about the aftermath, when the poor loser of the match is exhumed from the dirt-filled chasm. After all, AJ Styles managed to liberate himself from that Boneyard at some point - how did he do it? The match has many unanswered questions.
Generally the stipulation calls for "managerial" services, but in many cases, those that win the services of a certain manager, valet (or even another wrestler) abuse their control. Like, Stacy Keibler was pretty much bound to Test against her will in 2003.
This begs the question of how much ground is actually covered by "services". And what's the stipulated time frame? The fact that some individuals in these predicaments have to "win" their freedom in a later match makes the stipulation a bit more problematic.
Generally the stipulation calls for "managerial" services, but in many cases, those that win the services of a certain manager, valet (or even another wrestler) abuse their control. Like, Stacy Keibler was pretty much bound to Test against her will in 2003.
This begs the question of how much ground is actually covered by "services". And what's the stipulated time frame? The fact that some individuals in these predicaments have to "win" their freedom in a later match makes the stipulation a bit more problematic.
You ever see those YouTube videos where an actual lawyer will watch a movie or TV show that centres on court and legal matters, and they explain what's realistic and what isn't? I'd like to show SummerSlam 2005 to one of those people and see if I can get blood to pour from their eye sockets.
Eddie Guerrero and Rey Mysterio once fought for custody of Eddie's "biological" son Dominick in a Ladder Match, where the custody papers hung above the ring. I've never been within 100 yards of any law school, but I'm pretty sure that this wouldn't hold up.
In most US states where capital punishment is an option, the electric chair is long a thing of the past. In 1991 WCW, however, such a chair (dubbed the Chair of Torture, patent-pending) was a means to an end as part of a convoluted and meandering wrestling match.
The eight-man Chamber of Horrors would've been fine as a weapons-filled Cage Match and nothing more, but noooo. It had to end with an electrocution, and it was poor Abdullah the Butcher left riding the lightning. At least the pyrotechnics were pretty, though.
In most US states where capital punishment is an option, the electric chair is long a thing of the past. In 1991 WCW, however, such a chair (dubbed the Chair of Torture, patent-pending) was a means to an end as part of a convoluted and meandering wrestling match.
The eight-man Chamber of Horrors would've been fine as a weapons-filled Cage Match and nothing more, but noooo. It had to end with an electrocution, and it was poor Abdullah the Butcher left riding the lightning. At least the pyrotechnics were pretty, though.
What better way to close out this list than with a mash-up of two earlier themes - the dooming of a human being, *and* the deprivation of liberty? Paul Bearer's life hung in the balance during a maddeningly-confusing match at the 2004 Great American Bash.
Apparently, Undertaker had to lose to The Dudley Boyz, or Paul Heyman would kill Kane's papa. Why this was allowed and why the authorities didn't step in is confusing enough (and how did it get sanctioned?). Then 'Taker killed Bearer himself for "reasons", because why not.